Getting Nasty in Computer Repair.
There is nothing like a frantic phone call “I have porn all over my three computers, get it off NOW!”
I arrived at the house at 9:30 am. At the door was a nice lady, probably in her mid 40’s. She greeted me with the usual charm any computer repair guy receives: “I’m glad you could come so quickly. You need to fix these computers before my husband gets home.”
The first computer was in the living room. The computer looked out to the front yard. Hey, this is Florida, you could see the heat rising from the driveway. My set up is always the same: Give the customer papers to fill out. Ask them to get me a cup of coffee. Manually go thru the computer to see which virus was present and where it resides. Yeah, sometimes it is that easy.
She came back in the room with my coffee, and the papers filled out. I said thank you and started to give her the initial assessment. That’s when I noticed her. Not that I didn’t see her before. But here she was 2 feet in front of my face. And her blouse was discretely without buttons buttoned where they should be. That should have been a red flag. But like I said, this is Florida, and it is hot. And, well, computer guys aren’t too quick on this stuff.
As I started the scanning programs, I sipped on the coffee and started to answer the usual questions. “Where did I get a virus?” “Why didn’t my anti-virus program catch it?” “How long does this take?” and my favourite question “Was it something that I did?”
I have a lot of fun with those questions. Sure, I could answer with certainty, if I was to do forensics … pulling out all the temporary files and history. Instead, I usually just say things like “You need to stop clicking everywhere on anything, especially if you don’t know or trust the web site or the email.”
Since the first program I run takes a good 20 minutes, I asked to see the other computers. She took me upstairs to her son’s computer. Turning it on was a shock, even for me. It was loaded with so much porn that I was sure the cops would be at the door that instant. And we aren’t just talking the usual pictures. The virus started up some pretty graphic videos. Dr. Ruth would have been impressed!
The story ends here for the protection of both me and my client.
You are welcome to write your own continuation.
Jerrold Schiff
http://www.schiffkey.com
nasty, computer, virus, removal, customers, women
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